Do pick up your copy of Jaya's newly launched book "Homeland Memories, Newland Adventures" at Amazon. Enjoy!
Guest Host: Ms. Snehal Singh, Publisher of Mind Spirit Works Publishing
Guest Speakers:
Dr. Ramesh Ramachandra, Author's Daughter, Author, Podcast Host and Founder of Talent Leadership Crucible
Mrs. Jaya Ramachandra, Author
Ms. Poorani Thanusha, Author's Daughter, Co-Founder and Principal Consultant of Talent Leadership Crucible
#entrepreneurship #entrepreneur #entrepreneurialmindset #volunteerism #kauaihindumonastery #kauaimonastery # SageYogaswami #Dr.RameshRamachandra #JayaRamachandra #PooraniThanusha #TheBigJumpintoEntrepreneurship2.0 #SriLanka #Singapore #HomelandMemoriesNewlandAdventures #healthyageing #ageing #ageingwell #positiveageing #activeageing #longevity #ageinggracefully #SnehalSingh
Lai Yun 00:00
In this special episode of Thriving in the Age of Disruption podcast, we have an extract of the book launch interview, hosted by publisher Ms. Snehal Singh, with the author, who is no other than Dr. Ramesh’s mother - Jaya Ramachandra. We hope you’ll enjoy this intimate view into Dr. Ramesh’s family life, and how her mother is her biggest role model and inspiration.
Dr. Ramesh 00:26
We have a special guest – Mrs. Jaya Ramachandra, author of "Homeland Memories, Newland Adventures". She has just launched her book about her life, its ups and downs and how she coped with it. By the way, she is my mother – and I am so proud of her. In fact, she is my first role model and the reason why became an entrepreneur. You know, what inspires me about her is how she’s so curious and is 100% engaged with life - Jaya Ramachandra.
Snehal Singh 01:03
Welcome to "In Conversation with Snehal". Today, I have Jaya Baleswari Ramachandra and her two beautiful daughters, Poorani and Dr. Ramesh joining us. We are launching Jaya's book today called "Homeland Memories Newland Adventures". What is this book about? What is Jaya's life story all about? You're also going to hear a little bit about this from her daughters, in terms of their perspective about Jaya's life.
Snehal 01:29
Just a quick introduction about Jaya. Jaya is a woman filled with adventure. She's one who has seen the world transformed as she enters the 80th year of her life. This book is a record of Jaya's memories about her life about her growing up, moving from Sri Lanka to where she is right now. And all the years, how she's seen the world transformed, not only on the lives of her children or on herself, but it's also about the shifts that she has seen and enjoyed where she challenged herself or life has challenged her. She's an absolutely energetic, creative, and curious person, someone who enjoys journeys and is even travelling now, right now, at this age and going places and seeing things from a very different perspective. "What is her perspective towards life?" is what we're going to explore today.
Snehal 02:13
First of all, thank you, Jaya for being here, for choosing to write the book, and also Dr. Ramesh and Poorani for being here. And it's not only about moral support, but it's about having that family together. And I think that itself, it speaks volumes. Jaya, when did this dream of writing a book begin for you?
Jaya 02:33
Of me, I was not wanting to write a book, I was asking my girls to write a book. The whole time I'm asking them to write a book. My dear daughter, Dr. Ramesh, she said, "Why are you pestering like that? Show us!" So, I have to show them something.
Dr. Ramesh 02:54
As far back as I can remember, my mother has always set a high standard for us. In my 30s, I ended up writing my first book on entrepreneurship because it was like day in, day out, "When are you gonna get your book out?" And sometime last year, it was already the second year of COVID restrictions. And Poorani was sharing with me that "Amma was getting a little bit lethargic and impacted by not being able to go out much, and what shall we do?" I'm a problem-solver. I'm like, "Okay, let's egg her on started on her book!" And that's how it all started. We got on the book project, and she was gaming up. That's a great thing about my mother. If she takes on something, she takes it on with enthusiasm. She started the book project in September of 2021. And we rushed through it, to get it out by March, at least the whole first draft. And we were travelling, we were relocating here. And now it is May 15. And it's ready, ready for everyone else to read and get excited about her exciting life.
Snehal 04:03
Well, that's definitely an example to be set. Okay, because there are people who write books and generally, when you're talking about life, the book does take a while. I think we did everything right as well, when it comes to the books like making sure that every picture has its own approval. We're not adding anything. We have done all of that, within this timeframe. Absolutely adventurous, ready to take up any challenge. Wow. Poorani and Dr. Ramesh, both of you. For every child, mom is always special. She's our role model. We look up to her for so many things.
Poorani 04:32
My mother is childlike. If you can imagine like a child running around playing the whole day, that's her like. She's active. She's energetic, that you can't tell her to even take a nap. She doesn't want to have a nap in the day. We are tired, but she keeps going. Right? What's so special is that she's just bouncing back from life, whatever happens. Even if she's feeling down one day. Like when first moved, she was getting a little bit down because she suddenly realised she's in a new country, doesn't know the language, has no plans, has no understanding of what's going on and we were out for work.
Jaya 05:05
I wanted to go home.
Poorani 04:06
You wanted to go home, right? And she said, "Oh, I want to go home." And she said that all of five minutes. She talked to herself. And she talked to me and she started to explore the place. Right? That's one of the most amazing things about her.
Snehal 05:19
I was inspired by seeing your pictures in terms of your readiness to travel, even in a country where you don't know the language. We saw your pictures of travelling, even going on bike.
Dr. Ramesh 05:29
What's special about my mother is she is radical in the way she thinks. I mean, she's out of the box. Growing up, it was fun, and it was different. For instance, we would have a television at home for six months, suddenly the television would have disappeared because she says that we should not get attached to watching TV and wasting our time. And so the TV goes off for six months. And in a lot of ways that was good because that forced us to look at other things to entertain ourselves. I was and to engage with life, in a different way. There was also the fact that we came from Sri Lanka so there's a larger professional Ceylonese-Tamil community who had come around the same time my parents did in the 70s. They had children of the same age, and most of them focused very much on school and music and dance. But my parents were quite chill and cool about not having us get just good grades. I remember we were doing Taekwondo, right, Poorani and we would do tennis, because we were just doing different things.
Poorani 06:32
Yeah, we really did stuff that really was more extracurricular. My mama will only say she never bothered with our homework. She wouldn't ask whether we had homework, what we would do.
Jaya 06:44
One day, my Canasta friend, one of them when she asked, "How is the children's exam now going on?" So, when I came home, and I asked my son, "How was your exam?" He asked me, "What came to you? Why are you asking about this lately?" I don't ask about their studies.
Snehal 07:04
That's what is special about you, right? You bring in a very different perspective. You don't fall into the norms of what society has said, "This is how a mother should be. This is how kids should be." And you've broken those shackles every now and then, as far as how I read the book. And that's what I want to know from both of you, both the daughters. You read the book the first, so was there anything that came to your surprise in terms of "Oh, my God, Mom, I did not know this." So, anything that you would like to share that you guys didn't know earlier and you only got to know through the book?
Poorani 07:33
Amma is stacked with us bits and pieces, right? We saw bits and pieces of it. But when we see in the entirety, you really get a sense of the ebb and flow, the hopes and dreams, the aspiration, which you would not have communicated the past. And then seeing those pieces where those aspirations and hope got shattered, or denied, right? That was what was moving. While we get a sense of it in the way she has shared over the years, seeing it in the entirety puts a different kind of perspective for us.
Dr. Ramesh 08:03
I never knew why Amma was so insistent that I be financially independent, that I get educated and I be independent. I guess what was really telling about her story and her journey was the fact that she lived at a time where society had required women to be dependent on their husbands for their financial independence. And being the independent spirit that she was, she didn't want that. And she wanted to have freedom. She was the one who inspired me to be an entrepreneur, because I could see her trying on little things from Pyrex parties to Emma Page Jewellery, to later on even starting an agency to bring in people for work.
Dr. Ramesh 08:28
But to me, I never realised that making your own money or earning your own salary was so important, because I've taken it for granted. But I guess in her lifetime, the kinds of circumstances that she lived, it was really important. So, I was a bit sad that she struggled with that. Upon reflection, I don't want any woman to struggle through that. Because I think as a man or a woman, we have equal right to be financially independent, and to have the kind of life that we want. And not just because we have to play roles, like you're a man or a woman.
Snehal 09:30
Most of these things have changed now, but women are not yet aware that things have changed. We're still struggling because we have been trained to think in a particular way. So, while the world has changed, the world inside us has not changed. And we're still looking for approval. That's where we need people like Jaya who would tell us, you know, "Who cares? Just do." I think the conversation we had just before this. And guys, when you listen to the podcast, you would know what we're talking about as well. But I asked her one question in the last interview that I did with Jaya, which was "What do you want your legacy to be? How do I want people to remember me?" And I think she actually gave a very beautiful answer.
Jaya 10:08
Hi-ya. Want to remember me, you remember. So, it is not my problem for you to remember. I don't want you to remember. If you don't want to remember, you don't have to remember.
Snehal 10:20
See, that's a very clear perspective. It's very difficult to reach there, in terms of making peace with "I don't care what people think. I don't live for anybody else." And to be happy, it's about me. And it is about me standing in my own light. You have been proving that Jaya, with everything that you're doing. Like the recent change, you just moved to Vietnam. And it's a huge shift when it comes to not just moving city but an absolutely new country. So, how are you feeling about the shift now? What is your opinion about the new place, Jaya?
Jaya 10:53
When I came, I did not think it is a big shift. But all my friends said, oh, I'm so brave and everything. Then when I came back, the first day, I thought, "It must have been foolishness and braveness that made me wanted to come." But later, I realised it was okay for me. And then Poorani, Ramesh, they made me more comfortable. Actually, they inspired me. Vietnam also, they gave me all the comforts. So, that was not necessary for me to think of anything else.
Poorani 11:29
But since we've come to Vietnam, she's the one who's actually explored most of property, she can take us around.
Jaya 11:37
Because they are doing hard work. So, I have to do the tourist attraction things.
Dr. Ramesh 11:41
And she cooks every day.
Snehal 11:42
That's amazing. But how do you stay inspired? What keeps you going?
Jaya 11:49
Honestly, all people inspire me. I am a people's person. So, when I see people, when I see nature, when I see things, I think I get my energy.
Poorani 12:02
You mentioned there about change. You're challenged by change that inspires you.
Jaya 12:07
I like changes also, I don't like the same thing, my hair style, or my hobbies.
Poorani 12:13
Even her menu, you cannot get the same dishes twice.
Jaya 12:17
Yes, yeah. Even my cakes, it is not the same. Tomorrow, if I give you that cake, and the day after that cake will be different. I like changes. I am maybe a chameleon.
Dr. Ramesh 12:31
She loves change.
Snehal 12:33
I'm pretty sure that you have heard this a lot of times from many people. But change is the most difficult thing and people struggle with it. That's where even our lives are also worked upon because coaches are nothing but someone who helps people bring in the change and you thrive on changes. Okay, so what comes very naturally to you, for many, is a learning. It is a journey of discovering and figuring it out. So, things that you're saying very naturally, even when you're narrating a story about something that happened in 1970. For me, it was probably a three decades ago. You saying that was so much more powerful saying that "This is what I decided. This is what I did." Okay, but it is not so natural for everyone else. For us, it is an effort; it is a learning to break that thought of "What people will think? Should I do this? Isn't this how it is supposed to be?" So, how it is supposed to be is exactly what you're not? Okay.
Dr. Ramesh 13:32
That's right. My mother is a master in dealing with change. And I think that's the biggest contribution that she gave me. And she really made me effective in dealing with change because I watched day in, day out, being who she was, and she didn't make a big deal. If change happened, she made it so easy. It's like you don't think that life has to go in one direction. Remember, my TV? Life is just whatever is showing up in front of you. Did you hear all that, Amma?
Jaya 14:03
Yeah, I'll tell you one joke. My friends tell me, "Jaya, you're always changing your hairstyle?" I told them, "I don't want to change my husband. So, at least I can change my hairstyle." This is for me changing, other than changing... I can change all the other things. I am happy with that setup. So, other things I can change, isn't it? Whatever I can change, I change.
Snehal 14:23
That is the beauty, right, about having a prospective like you. It's about looking at the silver lining. That is in a way your gift because it's very easy to see everything that is going wrong and focusing on that. But you have this beautiful perspective, "Okay, this is not in my control. This is. Let me change that. Let me take control of that." Wow. So again, coming to Poorani and Dr. Ramesh, how have you seen life evolved? And in context with even Jaya, because you've seen her as a child, and what she was an individual mother or entrepreneur probably, when you were a child versus what she is now. So, what are a few things that you would say were major turning points that you noticed, and you were like, okay, this is where I saw shifted. This is where I knew that my mother will react this way or it was expected? So, any such experiences that you would like to share with us?
Poorani 15:21
There are many, many turning points. Reading a story, I recall, first, the big turning point would have been the pre-stroke days, maybe a year prior to her stroke, and then the time of her stroke and the recovery period. It didn't happen in an instant. But it was a period where it's a turning point. So, looking at that you can see the shift at that young age, right, what we would call the peak of your life or the time when you can really take on a new path of your life. At that moment to be dealt with this, I think that was a huge turning point, of course, to her being the person who has the effect of it. But of course, we all could also see that and so it also shifted the dynamics of our relationship and the way we related to her, and maybe how she related to us, that was the most obvious and biggest turning point.
Jaya 16:04
You will be a different person. So, in 1982, he said, according to your chart, you will be a different person. But 85, I was a completely different person. I couldn't speak, my right side was paralysed. So, now I can speak, I'm enjoying life. So, I think actually, I am a blessed person, I am blessed.
Dr. Ramesh 16:34
Yeah. My mother's stroke was a key moment in my life as well, as it was in hers, because I was about 18 years old or so. Because I already had this memory of this mother who was active and so excited about life. In some ways, when that stroke happened, I think for me, it was like, how could she then live vicariously through me? What should I do, so that she doesn't experience that she is left out, right? And so there was a part where I became her mother in some ways, because of that moment, and become protective of what she did. And maybe that's when we all started to indulge her in some ways, because it's hard to have that moment where you think you can lose your mother or you can lose your father, right. And that's a hard time.
Dr. Ramesh 17:21
I got married and divorced almost two years later. And it was quite traumatic for my mother because she wanted the best for me. I think she wants the best for all her children. There's no doubt about that. I made certain decisions that maybe she didn't like it or thought they were wrong. And so, I may have broken her heart, we've had a tense relationship, which blows hot and cold after that because she really gave her 100% to me. I'm clear about that. And I've made life choices, which may not be consistent with what she would have wanted to do. That's a regret. I'm also clear that she brought me up as a person to make those life choices. And she wouldn't want me to back off from doing those things. So, that's the struggle that we have, sometimes as a mother and daughter as well.
Snehal 18:14
But I think that's the mother-daughter relationship, right? We may not agree with everything with each other. But that doesn't change the love we have. And I think that's where, I don't know how moms have this power to accept you for who you are.
Poorani 18:28
That's mother's unconditional love. They may make demands, they may place expectations, but regardless of the outcome, they're still there. Right? They might tell you; this is how it could be and can be and should be, or maybe even insists. But when it doesn't go away, she might throw a tantrum, but she'll get over it. I think that's the beauty that Jaya is someone who is willing to just speak her mind, say what she needs to say, take the risk of the impact but more because she really feels it must be said. That it's a greatest sin not to say it, right, even if it's a hurtful thing.
Snehal 18:32
That's why we say home is not actually a physical place, it's a feeling that it can come back to. That feeling of okay I'm home. I think that's what Jaya creates wherever she goes. And though I haven't spoken to you so many times even I feel that. I can say, I can be myself and I know that you're not going to judge me or judge anybody out here. That's the impact that you create or you have on other people. Jaya, anything that you want to say to our audience. Of course, we are going to read the book and there is a lot of learning when it comes to you, just sharing your story what are the perspectives that we can see of your two cents. Something that you want to tell each one of us.
Dr. Ramesh 19:45
She wanted to actually share her five tips.
Jaya 19:48
That, I think everybody would like to hear but sometimes you have to tell what people wanting to hear. So, “You cannot cry over spilt milk”. So, sometimes you think, okay, you can- the milk is spilt, that means you can give the dog or a cat to drink. Maybe the spilt milk is spilt milk, just leave it. Then another thing is you have to “aim for the stars or more than the stars, maybe planets”. So, if you aim for something and you get something is okay. Then “failures are the pillars of success” or when you are going to build a castle, you have to have some failures to build a castle. So, you have to build a castle but remember that failure is the pillars. Then I think, “I can, I will” should be your motto. One should be blessed, that “everyone is blessed”. And that's all.
Snehal 20:42
Most of the times, we are so busy in finding out why something happened and try to find good in that. So, I love what you said, "Spilt milk is spilt milk", whatever you want to do with it and that is so beautifully put. Thank you anything you want to add, anything you want to say to Jaya today?
Dr. Ramesh 21:03
Well, Amma is my role model, she has always been my role model. And I want to thank her for giving me the courage to deal with life powerfully.
Poorani 21:13
I want my mother to know, she's gonna say no need, but I'll just say, "Thank you".
Jaya 21:19
Yes.
Snehal 21:20
Beautiful. Thank you. And just before we close today was about launching Jaya's book, the link for the book has already been added in the captions, the title of the book is called "Homeland Memories, Newland Adventures". It's available on Amazon. You can just go ahead and download it. So, you can go ahead, grab a copy of a book, and tell us what you really, really felt. The book is very straightforward to the point, sharing things just the way they are. And it is absolute Jaya. She has no filter when she has conversations, and she's written the book, exactly in the same fashion. You get to know things exactly what they were, the perspectives as they were. There is so much that is beyond what is just being shared. I was lucky enough to read the book already three to four times before it came out. And every time I read it; the same sentence probably brought a different perspective to me.
Snehal 22:11
So, while this is not a self-help book, it is a book that will give you so much more to take away from life and tell you one thing for sure, which is just live your life. You never know how things are, you never know how they will be. And it is about making the moment count. And in every bit of the book, you will find that Jaya's making us realise that that it is about the moment, it's about the 'now'. Why we are worrying about the future and sowing seeds for the future? If you're not in the moment, the seed doesn't get sowed. And that is what it is.
Snehal 22:42
So, go ahead read the book. Let us know how you felt. You can connect and communicate with Jaya even through the email ID. That's there already on the profile, through Dr. Ramesh's account as well. So, share and tell us what you felt. What is the one thing that you could take away? Even from our conversation today, I think Jaya would love that too. So thank you, Poorani, and Ramesh as well for making this happen. And Jaya, thank you, thank you for writing it. There is so much that you're giving us which I know you don't care about it and you'll never even think but there is a lot that you're giving knowingly or unknowingly and you inspire people just by being there. Okay. And it's about just your presence.
Poorani 23:20
She wants to share the Sage Yogaswami’s saying in Tamil, "Oru pollappum illai". So, let me say that in English, what that means is, "There is not even one wrong thing”. "Muludum unmai", “All is truth”. "Eppavo Mudintha Karyam", “It was all accomplished long ago”. This is in the words of Sage Yogaswami, whom she mentions a lot in the book also.
Snehal 23:54
Beautiful. Thank you. Those are definitely things that I will remember as well. Thank you for sharing that today. And guys, thank you so much for joining us, and we're looking forward to what you thought about this. Anything that you're gonna take away from our conversation today, let us know. Just before I say bye, as I always say, "we all are born abundant, all we need to do is claim that abundance by taking one step at a time." So, take that one step towards your life today.
Lai Yun 24:15
Thank you for joining us today. It’s so refreshing to experience Jaya’s energy and curiosity for all that life has to offer.
Jaya’s book records her memories of her family in Jaffna to growing up in Colombo, and her thoughts on the ethnic tensions in Ceylon from the 1950s to the end of the civil war in 2009. Having lived in Singapore since the 1970s, Jaya reflects on life in the Lion City, shares her journey into entrepreneurship and volunteerism, and inspires us with her passion for adventure and life.
Jaya’s book "Homeland Memories, Newland Adventures" is now available on Amazon. Be sure to click on the link in this podcast episode description, to get a copy of Jaya’s newly launched book.
Next up, we bring you the CEO of SpeedCargo, who offers Technology Solutions for the Logistics Industry - Dr. Krishna Kumar Nallur was also involved in the Singapore-MIT Alliance for Research & Technology Centre, which brings cutting edge technologies from the lab to the market. He also shares part of his experience as a director at the Institute of Innovation & Entrepreneurship at the Singapore Management University.
Thanks for listening today and be sure to join Dr. Ramesh in our next episode of Thriving in the Age of Disruption.
